Tomorrow I start the "fourth" phase of my treatment ... I begin my hormone therapy. I'll be starting Lupron shots and will take them monthly for the next four months leading up to Tamoxifen which I will take daily for four years. My cancer feeds off of estrogen so these shots and subsequent pills are to keep my body from producing estrogen ... if I understand it all correctly.
I'm a little nervous. I've taken drugs like this before so the side effects aren't new to me. I'm anxious about being hormonal gut busting mood swings, gaining weight, retaining water and losing bone mass. I should be worried about a recurrence but surprisingily I still think God will use this somehow and that I have hope. As a friend just pointed out ... Jer 29:11 ... For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Anyway, my friend Stephanie is going to power through and drive me to all my appointments tomorrow. I'm relieved. These appointments are draining me. Tomorrow morning, I have an appointment for radiation, the radiologist and then move across town to the oncologist. Besides the energy it takes to go to all these, its mentally daunting ... I think Mrs. Ramos may finish radiation tomorrow. She's a Hispanic woman in her late 40s or so with a husband that fills the waiting room with smiles. She doesn't speak a lot of English but she fills the room with these huge smiles that shine through her eyes. I'm going to miss her during these next three weeks as I finish up and move onto the phase ... I wish I was the type who would fill a room with smiles ... but I don't think I am. I guess it's something to aspire to.
Ann
Showing posts with label radiation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label radiation. Show all posts
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Dreary Weekend but Memorable
Radiaiton continues to go well. My chest is turning red and itches a lot. I'm using lotion by the gallon and other than feeling sticky, I'm not sure it's doing much but I'm trying to follow the doctors orders.
The girls have had a great Halloween weekend. Grace dressed as a maid servant. She was Cinderella before she became a princess. Rose was a snow princess, she wore a white cape that was covered in snowflake buttons. I'm most proud because I was able to make both costumes and they were original. It felt great to have enough energy to be able to make the costumes and be there with the girls to attend Falleluia (an annual event at our church) and Trick or Treat. I even won homemade pumpkin bars at the cake walk! It was a great weekend to add to the girls childhood memories. I wonder if they'll even remember their costumes in ten years.
This morning my friend Nancy and I volunteered at the City of Oaks Marathon. It was a driving hard, cold rain and I felt for the folks who were running it, including several good friends. I looked in the eyes of all these runners who were fighting so hard to keep going (I was at the 8.5 mile mark where they turned around for the half or kept trudging out for the full). It reminded me of this year and what a struggle each of us faces. Everyone has their dragons to slay, their burdens to carry. I'm sure each of the runners today made memories they will never forget.
Jeff's parents have been here visiting this week. Jeff's dad hasn't made it down this year and he's been thrilled to have them here. They are working on a huge doll house that has sat idle in our garage for more than a year. I have no doubt that many hours will be spent playing this beautiful, homemade masterpiece over the next few years. I know when I look at my doll house I remember all the great times I had playing with my sister. Unforgettable.
I have treatment number 19 tomorrow morning. If I counted correctly, I may finish the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I'm trying not to get my hopes up ... but how can I not?
The girls have had a great Halloween weekend. Grace dressed as a maid servant. She was Cinderella before she became a princess. Rose was a snow princess, she wore a white cape that was covered in snowflake buttons. I'm most proud because I was able to make both costumes and they were original. It felt great to have enough energy to be able to make the costumes and be there with the girls to attend Falleluia (an annual event at our church) and Trick or Treat. I even won homemade pumpkin bars at the cake walk! It was a great weekend to add to the girls childhood memories. I wonder if they'll even remember their costumes in ten years.
This morning my friend Nancy and I volunteered at the City of Oaks Marathon. It was a driving hard, cold rain and I felt for the folks who were running it, including several good friends. I looked in the eyes of all these runners who were fighting so hard to keep going (I was at the 8.5 mile mark where they turned around for the half or kept trudging out for the full). It reminded me of this year and what a struggle each of us faces. Everyone has their dragons to slay, their burdens to carry. I'm sure each of the runners today made memories they will never forget.
Jeff's parents have been here visiting this week. Jeff's dad hasn't made it down this year and he's been thrilled to have them here. They are working on a huge doll house that has sat idle in our garage for more than a year. I have no doubt that many hours will be spent playing this beautiful, homemade masterpiece over the next few years. I know when I look at my doll house I remember all the great times I had playing with my sister. Unforgettable.
I have treatment number 19 tomorrow morning. If I counted correctly, I may finish the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I'm trying not to get my hopes up ... but how can I not?
Friday, October 23, 2009
Laughing All the Way to the Finish Line
I'm nine treatments into radiation. Only 24 more treatments to go. But who's counting, besides Jeff and I?
Radiation has been going pretty quickly. It takes me as much time to drive to the hospital and onto work as it does to actually get the treatment. Each day, I receive four doses of radiation while I lay on the table and the nurses do this intricate number of lining me up just right using laser lights and projection screens. And, this large multi-million dollar machine moves robotically around me while I lie there listening to music. The nurses have been great. Maybe it's that they crank my "bed" up into the air about four feet so that my body is eye level but I think of the three fairy godmothers Flora, Fauna and Merryweather from Sleeping Beauty. They aren't old or pudgy by any means but always laughing and working to put their client base at ease. I'm really lucky compared to a lot of their clientele who are moving much slower and seem to be in a lot of pain. Many of them are on oxygen. So far my chest just feels a little raw and windburnt but I've been assured that the sunburn feeling will occur by the end of next week. Regardless, I'm nearly done and I'm loving it!
My running partners/best friends have hung with me this fall and really supported me even on mornings when they've had every right to drive to my house and ring the doorbell when I didn't show up. Regardless of my sleeping patterns, I've made it out for a few good runs lately bringing in a four miler recently that left me feeling pretty good about my physical fitness. Thursday morning I had a great run and it was still dark out, the stars were out and the air was crisp. Just perfect for a good run. As I see the end of actual treatments just around the corner, I realize I have to start exercising again soon. My doctors keep emphasizing just how important exercise and avoiding weight gain is to overall health.
In general, I'm in great spirits. If I had to complain about something ... I will pick on the the Komen Foundation as we celebrate Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I hate it. I'm ready for it to end. I've seen everything from the NFL to newspapers painted pink. I'm ready to get rid of the constant reminder about cancer. That damn pink ribbon is everywhere. I'm not sure what the objective of the campaign is other than to raise money. I could appreciate the campaign/organization more if they were more proactively reminding women to do self breast exams, mammograms, etc. On that note, I'll use this platform to recommend everyone get regular check-ups.
Hope you all have a blessed fall weekend. I've got a long list of "to do" items including Halloween Costume Development ... I'm looking forward to it.
Thanks for all the cards and prayers. And, thanks for the beautiful flowers.
Ann
Radiation has been going pretty quickly. It takes me as much time to drive to the hospital and onto work as it does to actually get the treatment. Each day, I receive four doses of radiation while I lay on the table and the nurses do this intricate number of lining me up just right using laser lights and projection screens. And, this large multi-million dollar machine moves robotically around me while I lie there listening to music. The nurses have been great. Maybe it's that they crank my "bed" up into the air about four feet so that my body is eye level but I think of the three fairy godmothers Flora, Fauna and Merryweather from Sleeping Beauty. They aren't old or pudgy by any means but always laughing and working to put their client base at ease. I'm really lucky compared to a lot of their clientele who are moving much slower and seem to be in a lot of pain. Many of them are on oxygen. So far my chest just feels a little raw and windburnt but I've been assured that the sunburn feeling will occur by the end of next week. Regardless, I'm nearly done and I'm loving it!
My running partners/best friends have hung with me this fall and really supported me even on mornings when they've had every right to drive to my house and ring the doorbell when I didn't show up. Regardless of my sleeping patterns, I've made it out for a few good runs lately bringing in a four miler recently that left me feeling pretty good about my physical fitness. Thursday morning I had a great run and it was still dark out, the stars were out and the air was crisp. Just perfect for a good run. As I see the end of actual treatments just around the corner, I realize I have to start exercising again soon. My doctors keep emphasizing just how important exercise and avoiding weight gain is to overall health.
In general, I'm in great spirits. If I had to complain about something ... I will pick on the the Komen Foundation as we celebrate Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I hate it. I'm ready for it to end. I've seen everything from the NFL to newspapers painted pink. I'm ready to get rid of the constant reminder about cancer. That damn pink ribbon is everywhere. I'm not sure what the objective of the campaign is other than to raise money. I could appreciate the campaign/organization more if they were more proactively reminding women to do self breast exams, mammograms, etc. On that note, I'll use this platform to recommend everyone get regular check-ups.
Hope you all have a blessed fall weekend. I've got a long list of "to do" items including Halloween Costume Development ... I'm looking forward to it.
Thanks for all the cards and prayers. And, thanks for the beautiful flowers.
Ann
Monday, October 12, 2009
The final stretch
I know it's the final stretch ... the last six miles of the proverbial marathon. Maybe I've just hit my wall. I just really want to pull over to the side and untie my shoe laces. I can't find the right kind of gu, I'm out of water and my electrolytes are shot. My calves are wobbly and my back hurts. I'm probably chaffing too. Everything seems foggy. I guess it's like running a race when you're desperate to quit and knowing your car is still miles away. You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. It sounds so much easier than what it really is.
Yet, that is what I'll do. Tomorrow I will go into Rex Hospital at 8:45 and will stop by for the next 33 business days. During this time they will use my tattoos to line me up with a huge and intense machine, shoot high concentrations of radiation at the right side of my chest and armpit which will result in an intense sunburn reaction and by Thanksgiving -- fatigue. If I'm lucky, that will be the worst of my side effects. With this daily regiment, any remaining cancer cells in my chest wall will die within the next few months. At the same time, I'll be starting hormone treatments as well.
I guess it's painful because I haven't had regular appointments for about six weeks now and it's been great. I went on two business trips (short overnighters) and one weekend getaway with my girlfriends. This weekend I went out to dinner twice with Jeff ... no kids. Work is crazy stressful right now and I'd like to immerse myself in it ... but it's hard to balance everything. I know I need to focus on my health which means exercise, sleep, good eating and spending time with those who matter ... but it's going to be tough to miss a couple hours of work each day and keep all the balls in the air during the daily juggle. I know it shouldn't matter ... but it does. We all face the daily juggle.
On that note, I'm off to roller skate with the girls school tonight. I hope I don't break anything. (The picture is of Grace running her first one mile fun run, a jingle bell run when she was just four. She was so proud of her very strong finish. This picture always makes me smile.)
Psalms 118:17 I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Not so pretty in pink
I've come to hate the color pink. I thought it was overwhelming that the girls love it so much ... but I'm definitely more of a red person. I'm lounging around the house today trying to get the swelling under my arm to ease. I feel like I'm holding a ping pong ball in my armpit. It's uncomfortable but not uncommon apparently. And, I'm decked out in a pink survior shirt and a pink sweatshirt with pink ribbon socks ... why couldn't they have chosen a more aggressive color -- like red. I love red.
When the alarm goes off in the morning it's back to work for me. I also need to work on getting back to the gym, out on the road and off the couch. There are so many rules in life ... floss, exfoliate, exercise, work hard, pray, love they neighbor ... how do we fit it all in?
Thanks for all the notes and prayers. I have several doctor appointments this week to get me all ready for radiation. I'm dreading the constant disruption of radiation. A daily trip to the doctor/hospital where I'll take it and having to schedule work and life around it sounds like a real inconveninece.
That's my update. I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself because Jeff and the girls (after sleeping in a tent in our backyard last night) are now closing down the pool for the last day that it's open this year. They have a whole different life that I'm not even a part of sometime. That's kind of lonely.
Ann
When the alarm goes off in the morning it's back to work for me. I also need to work on getting back to the gym, out on the road and off the couch. There are so many rules in life ... floss, exfoliate, exercise, work hard, pray, love they neighbor ... how do we fit it all in?
Thanks for all the notes and prayers. I have several doctor appointments this week to get me all ready for radiation. I'm dreading the constant disruption of radiation. A daily trip to the doctor/hospital where I'll take it and having to schedule work and life around it sounds like a real inconveninece.
That's my update. I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself because Jeff and the girls (after sleeping in a tent in our backyard last night) are now closing down the pool for the last day that it's open this year. They have a whole different life that I'm not even a part of sometime. That's kind of lonely.
Ann
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