365 Days Later ... God Heals

Today is my one year anniversary of being a survivor. In some ways a lot has changed in a year and in other ways ... not much has changed at all. I'm still waiting the final results of my tests that I had run on Monday and my stitches are still healing from having the port catheter removed on Thursday. As I reflect back on the year, I'm so very thankful for all the kind words of encouragement, the prayers, the baby-sitters, the meals and all the help you've given our family.

I was fortunate enough to take the entire day as a vacation day to just spend with Jeff and the girls. I started the morning with a short run. I've got a long way to go before my half marathon in May but it felt good to just run my own pace and "talk to God" along the way. I'm really thankful for the overwhelming sense of peace that I have as I move forward with life. Then I drove carpool where the topic for three kindergartners was everything from dinner choices, maiden names, heaven and whether cats could feel a shot from the veterinarian. All that in just 20 minutes of driving! It was a riot! Jeff and I went for massages which was just an awesome feeling to be warm and mellow. Then we did a little window shopping and a nice lunch of shrimp and grits. I made banana blueberry chocolate chip bread with Rose this afternoon while Grace went with Jeff and Pete (our cat) to the vet. It was great to just spend the day focused on the family and our everyday mundane tasks. It was a great way to celebrate this milestone.

I'm preparing to moderate an awareness event for a ministry called "Hangin' on Faith" (wwww.hanginonfaith.com) on Friday night and I've keep coming back to this poem as I consider my remarks. Indeed, God heals ...

God Heals -- Author Unknown

Remember when you heard the words -- and your mind went blank -- you were in another world.
God heals.
Remember in your darkest hours -- when all that surrounds you is pain and sorrow
God heals.
Remember friends' prayers - your family's encouragement = glimmers of hope from everyday angels
God heals.
Quite ... you can hear Him now always there -- yet never close
God heals.
It's just another day -- yet everything has changed -- and you hear yourself say
God heals.
Birds are singing -- the sky is a beautiful blue - flowers are blooming ...
God heals.
Truths that you knew as a child -- awakened again with new understanding
God heals.
Remember when others can't - that life is a gift - each day to treasure.
God heals.

Amen! Indeed, I have felt that healing presence throughout the year.

Here's to many more years!

Close to the year anniversary

I spent most of Monday afternoon with Dr. Graham, my onocologist. It was a regularly scheduled meeting to review my test results and hopefully declare me "NED" No Evidence of Disease. Unfortunately, we didn't have all the tests done yet (nurses screwed up the diagnostics being ordered) so I go in on Monday for the chest scans, mammograms, etc. and then I'll have a few days before he calls me to declare me NED.

He did start me on hormone treatments (for the next five years) ... which is great timing. They are running Duke Childrens Hospital fund raising on the radio right now. I'm crying in my car constantly as I hear these poor families talk about what cancer has done to their children. I could give away everything I own listening to these gut wrenching stories.

Today I went to have my port removed. It was implanted in my chest last March. The procedure itself only took a half hour and I was awake. (Although whatever they gave me for my nerves kicked in and I slept until nearly four today ... I made Jeff stop for a sausage biscuit on the way home. I kept falling asleep eating it and it kept falling back into my lap as he drove me home. I was a mess.) We started our appointment fighting with insurance. We switched insurance companies in Dec. and these doctors didn't take my new one and we had to call and get a special waiver to make sure that our insurance will pay for 80% of it. In the end they agreed to it but it was so distracting and nerve-wracking as three nurses stood waiting to start the procedure until we could get our insurance figured out. Makes me really worried about what the future of health care will be. I could have opted to keep the port but I would have to be on a daily blood thinner. Ridiculous. Anyway, I'm awake now and in minmal pain.

The doc did approve my ski trip for the weekend although he did warn against carrying and lifting the girls. I agreed. So, we're heading to Ski Beech with two other families from our church this weekend. I've been looking forward to this for weeks and probably should go pack while the girls are at swimming practice.

Hope all you that are snowed in aren't going crazy!