I've got a "regular" doctor appointment this morning and the anxiety is killing me. I don't know why. I should be healthy enough. But lately I wonder. My running is horrible and I'm having a difficult time keeping my breath, my energy is low and my chest hurts. I'm terrified that he's going to find something. I'm reading a book called AntiCancer and it focuses on diet and exercise and suddenly I realize there is so much more that I should be doing. It's not rocket science ... eat good and exercise for 30 minutes a day (which does not mean 10 mile runs every weekend ...)
Anyway ... I just needed to get that off my chest and admit that I'm still nervous. I wish all the angst could go away.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Random Thoughts by an Overstressed Executive Mom
I have been sick this week. Not serious: just a head cold and it is certainly nothing out of the ordinary. I have a throat that feels like fire and a nose that is drippy at best. So, I went into the doctor on Tues. It's the first time I've been sick since chemo ended and admittedly it freaked me out. I just wasn't sure how my body would react. I'm a little worried about how my immune system was going to hold up. Fortunately, I mentioned it to the nurse and she had also fought breast cancer much of last year and been in a similar situation. She assured me that it was normal to panic a little. The doctor assured me I'd be fine with more fluids and rest ... so I slept some more. I feel a little better at the end of this week but I'm still exhausted. That could be that I'm watching basketball!
---
Jeff has started working again. It's a part-time contract position with the North Carolina Department of Agriculture. Ironically, it's been right at six years since he resigned to stay home with the girls. That was one of the best decisions we made. He is responsible for overseeing the execution of grants for the specialty crop block grant program. It's a lot of paperwork to which he is adapting. I am really proud of him for getting a job in an industry that we are both so passionate about, but it's also a strain on the family as we adjust to him having a more structured day and limited flexibility. We're all slowly stepping up some although you couldn't tell it from the five loads of laundry that we need to put away.
---
Grace is flourishing as a budding bookworm. She is really enjoying reading everything her eyes come across. This has huge ramifications for me as I often leave lists and documents around the house and now she can read much of it. She was quick to tell me that the dental hygienist called her "hysterical" and "cute as a button." She was so proud. I stifled a laugh when Jeff talked about her trip to the dentist, he mentioned that she was nearly in-hysterics when they tried to use fluoride on her teeth ... she would not let them. Hysterics and hysterical ... hate that I missed that adventure. I'm enjoying teaching her all the various definitions for various words ... like hysterical.
---
Rose continues to be a bundle of energy and full of life. She goes full throttle and wide open. Now that spring has arrived she is usually in the backyard and at night we are finding handfuls of leaves in her hair. She's started soccer and my only regret is that our yard is not more conducive to practicing the drills. She's extremely proud of a panda bear that she made at Build-A-Bear last weekend. She dressed Oreo, the panda, in a soccer outfit! I look forward to being a soccer mom, she really enjoys it.
---
In the morning, the girls and I are doing a three mile walk in Chapel Hill. It's for a non-profit group called "Get Real and Heel" that focuses on helping breast cancer patients recover through a five month intensive exercise and healthy lifestyle program. One of their staff has been helping me on the rare occasions that I make it inside the YMCA. It's an excellent program for survivors and I wish I lived close enough to take advantage of it. I'm signed up for several long distance races in the next few months and I'm struggling to run several times a week. We will be putting together a Race for the Cure team in the next few weeks so I'll be posting that information as soon as I have it.
That's the update at the Camden house. Oh, and we're watching basketball!!! Go Boilers! Beat Duke!
---
Jeff has started working again. It's a part-time contract position with the North Carolina Department of Agriculture. Ironically, it's been right at six years since he resigned to stay home with the girls. That was one of the best decisions we made. He is responsible for overseeing the execution of grants for the specialty crop block grant program. It's a lot of paperwork to which he is adapting. I am really proud of him for getting a job in an industry that we are both so passionate about, but it's also a strain on the family as we adjust to him having a more structured day and limited flexibility. We're all slowly stepping up some although you couldn't tell it from the five loads of laundry that we need to put away.
---
Grace is flourishing as a budding bookworm. She is really enjoying reading everything her eyes come across. This has huge ramifications for me as I often leave lists and documents around the house and now she can read much of it. She was quick to tell me that the dental hygienist called her "hysterical" and "cute as a button." She was so proud. I stifled a laugh when Jeff talked about her trip to the dentist, he mentioned that she was nearly in-hysterics when they tried to use fluoride on her teeth ... she would not let them. Hysterics and hysterical ... hate that I missed that adventure. I'm enjoying teaching her all the various definitions for various words ... like hysterical.
---
Rose continues to be a bundle of energy and full of life. She goes full throttle and wide open. Now that spring has arrived she is usually in the backyard and at night we are finding handfuls of leaves in her hair. She's started soccer and my only regret is that our yard is not more conducive to practicing the drills. She's extremely proud of a panda bear that she made at Build-A-Bear last weekend. She dressed Oreo, the panda, in a soccer outfit! I look forward to being a soccer mom, she really enjoys it.
---
In the morning, the girls and I are doing a three mile walk in Chapel Hill. It's for a non-profit group called "Get Real and Heel" that focuses on helping breast cancer patients recover through a five month intensive exercise and healthy lifestyle program. One of their staff has been helping me on the rare occasions that I make it inside the YMCA. It's an excellent program for survivors and I wish I lived close enough to take advantage of it. I'm signed up for several long distance races in the next few months and I'm struggling to run several times a week. We will be putting together a Race for the Cure team in the next few weeks so I'll be posting that information as soon as I have it.
That's the update at the Camden house. Oh, and we're watching basketball!!! Go Boilers! Beat Duke!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
God Called a Good One Home
This weekend we are grieving and struggling with death. On Monday morning, our good friend Gerry Reid was hit by a semi-truck on I-40. I could go into all the bizarre and ironic aspects of the story but I won't. I'll back up and remember that last Friday at our Life Group (through our church), of which Gerry was a huge part, the conversation was about God's will and how difficult it is to pray for that to be done. And this week as I've watched his wife handle his coma and a battery of tests that never seemed to go our way ... she is a living testament to God's will. Yesterday, Gerry went onto heaven. I like to think he is on a mission to scout out good bands for us to hear one day.
Gerry was an interesting guy with a great knack for story telling. He was an awesome dad and he loved his brothers -- loved to tell stories about his family. He always made you feel good when you were around him and people adored him. He was smart and down to earth. He was very genuine and curious about everything. He exposed his kids to all different kinds of adventures. In early February, he didn't hesitate when we called him to go to the rodeo. I told him we were trying to decide who would be crazy enough to go to "Bulls and Barrels" and we had a great time cheering for the cowboys. It was a hoot and a great blast of redneck thrown in.
Throughout my journey last year Mandy, his wife, sent me great notes of encouragement and brought us terrific homemade bread and Gerry filled my inbox with thoughts on diet and how it might affect my side effects of chemo and radiation. Just last week, we were having a great discussion about Michael Pollan and our own personal Food Rules. Here were the ones he sent me last week:
No processed\simple carbs (bread, pasta, french fries, potatoes) unless immediately after work out
Meat, beans, leaves and berries should be primary foods.
If it comes from a factory don't eat it.
Green tea and fish oil every day
Supps: Vit D, Resveratrol, Zinc, Magnesium, COQ10, Turmeric and a big fat multi-vitamin.
I make exceptions of course, especially for beer and chocolate.
In this last week, Gerry taught me a lot about life and gave me yet another huge reminder that life is a gift and you never know when it might be taken away. People keep asking what they can do and right now ... Mandy just needs some time alone but I keep thinking there must be something so here's my list:
-- Give blood
-- Sign your organ donor card
-- Squeeze your loved ones and tell them you love them
-- Write a will and talk with your spouse no matter how uncomfortable the conversation
-- Eat healthy and plan to live a long time
-- Enjoy every day and thank God for all your blessings
-- Be genuinely nice
-- Have Faith and pray
We're really going to miss Gerry and we ache for his wife and kids. They have an amazing support system of family and friends; but we know there is nothing that can replace the love of their husband and father. If you have any suggestions for how we can help them through this difficult time, please share them with us.
Hug somebody.
Gerry was an interesting guy with a great knack for story telling. He was an awesome dad and he loved his brothers -- loved to tell stories about his family. He always made you feel good when you were around him and people adored him. He was smart and down to earth. He was very genuine and curious about everything. He exposed his kids to all different kinds of adventures. In early February, he didn't hesitate when we called him to go to the rodeo. I told him we were trying to decide who would be crazy enough to go to "Bulls and Barrels" and we had a great time cheering for the cowboys. It was a hoot and a great blast of redneck thrown in.
Throughout my journey last year Mandy, his wife, sent me great notes of encouragement and brought us terrific homemade bread and Gerry filled my inbox with thoughts on diet and how it might affect my side effects of chemo and radiation. Just last week, we were having a great discussion about Michael Pollan and our own personal Food Rules. Here were the ones he sent me last week:
No processed\simple carbs (bread, pasta, french fries, potatoes) unless immediately after work out
Meat, beans, leaves and berries should be primary foods.
If it comes from a factory don't eat it.
Green tea and fish oil every day
Supps: Vit D, Resveratrol, Zinc, Magnesium, COQ10, Turmeric and a big fat multi-vitamin.
I make exceptions of course, especially for beer and chocolate.
In this last week, Gerry taught me a lot about life and gave me yet another huge reminder that life is a gift and you never know when it might be taken away. People keep asking what they can do and right now ... Mandy just needs some time alone but I keep thinking there must be something so here's my list:
-- Give blood
-- Sign your organ donor card
-- Squeeze your loved ones and tell them you love them
-- Write a will and talk with your spouse no matter how uncomfortable the conversation
-- Eat healthy and plan to live a long time
-- Enjoy every day and thank God for all your blessings
-- Be genuinely nice
-- Have Faith and pray
We're really going to miss Gerry and we ache for his wife and kids. They have an amazing support system of family and friends; but we know there is nothing that can replace the love of their husband and father. If you have any suggestions for how we can help them through this difficult time, please share them with us.
Hug somebody.
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