It's been several months since my last post and we've been busy with school, work and the holidays. I've been trying to minimize my computer time at home. Tonight, I'm camped out in a stale hotel room in New York City trying to take a few minutes before the holiday hits in full force later this week. My parents are coming to town and I'm thrilled to be hosting them! This is the 2nd or 3rd year that we've been in our own home and we're still working on building some of our own traditions. It's one of the perks of parenthood!
Throughout the holidays this year, our girls have challenged us to put more of Jesus back into Christmas. It's just a few days away and I'm still struggling for things we can do throughout Christmas day to re enforce the reason for the season.
We've filled shoe boxes and shipped them off, we've collected gloves, mittens, hats and coats and delivered them. We've instilled in the girls the importance of giving money to various charities and we have completed the top of a quilt to give to someone who is homeless. (Grace actually wants to give it to a man that she sees regularly on the corner after school.)
So, I've "borrowed" the idea of telling the Christmas story from a point of view of a specific character on Christmas morning. The assignments have been made ... Rose wants to tell the story as if she were a sheep, Grace choose baby Jesus and I'm torn between either an angel or Mary. Jeff hasn't decided and I've warned my parents that they'll need to participate! I hope one of them takes the vantage point of the wise men. The idea is that we'll each tell what we think the nativity might have been like from our point-of-view. I figure we'll also spend time reading Luke 2:1-20 to make sure we capture that first ... but I'm curious ... do you have ideas? Do you have family traditions that you can share?
As a kid, I grew up traveling a lot over the holidays and I don't think we have a lot of traditions ... other than AWESOME food that my mother makes. We also usually went to midnight mass which is still special to me, and to Jeff as well. I don't think we'll spend every family at home so I'm looking for traditions that we can "take on the road." So, I'm asking ... what is a tradition? And, how can we make sure that it has impact for the girls?
Monday, December 20, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
The new autumn color -- Pink
I've never been particularly fond of pink. I'm more of a red person. Frankly, it bothers me that all the lovely autumn colors like green, orange and red are being relegated to the back of the closet to celebrate "Pink" month. Don't get me wrong, I'm very appreciative of all the efforts to raise awareness and fund raising for breast cancer research ... That research and awareness probably saved my life and definitely made the treatment easier through all the research funded by Komen and American Cancer Society. What has surprised me is that it has been such a reminder of last year. Some days it feels like it's hitting me all over again. It certainly doesn't help that I have had so many friends and acquanitences be diagnosed recently.
I'm reading Promise Me by Nancy Brinker. It's the history of the Komen foundation and while I'm only halfway through it, I have found it to be a love story. It's the story of two sisters who loved each other fiercely and a family that worked very hard to make healthcare better and easier for everyone. The book is a good balance between the history of cancer and the foundation, blended with family stories about Susan and Nancy growing up. Other than the obvious chapter about Susan succumbing to the disease, the other chapter that gave me pause was the history of the mastectomy and painstaking detail of what that was like before modern medicine, especially pain medicine! I can't imagine what our ancestors went through. I'm shocked anyone survived that.
So, I've been a little emotional. Overall, I'm fine. Probably even better than fine. I went in for my calcium shot last week and got a clean bill of health. I'm running nearly 20 miles a week and have full range of motion in my arm. There is not much I can complain about. (Yet, I still have a long list of complaints.)
The girls love school and are both thriving. Tonight they are with Jeff at a Y-Princess camp out with their tribe called Blazing Saddles. The weatherman forecast a low of 37 tonight and Jeff was hacking and wheezing before he ever left home. Bouncing Bunny (Grace) and Twisted Vine (Rose) were so excited that Hunting Wolf (Jeff) couldn't let them down. So he took them. I recommended they come home to sleep (they are only about 10 miles from the house) but they would have none of it. So, while they enjoy sleeping on the ground under a beautiful harvest moon ... I am tucked snuggly in our bed with the electric blanket on me and a fat cat curled at my feet. What am I doing without them? Thus far, I've had the luxury of shopping at the Junior League Shopping Spree and an Italian dinner with a girlfriend. I'm planning to run at least 8 miles in the morning. Life is good. This is the best camp out EVER ... okay, I was actually jealous when I heard about hashbrowns and bacon for breakfast although I do like having the entire bed to myself!
I've missed blogging but have struggled with what is interesting and appropriate to post. I hope to get back to it this fall in between training for a half marathon, finishing up a couple quilts, getting ready for the girls birthday and the holidays, a vacation to the Smokies, work for a school board that I'm on, my role at church and of course ... my job. I am ready for the holidays to refresh and take some time off.
When you look into your closet tomorrow ... embrace Pink for the women in your life. We can wear red in November!
I'm reading Promise Me by Nancy Brinker. It's the history of the Komen foundation and while I'm only halfway through it, I have found it to be a love story. It's the story of two sisters who loved each other fiercely and a family that worked very hard to make healthcare better and easier for everyone. The book is a good balance between the history of cancer and the foundation, blended with family stories about Susan and Nancy growing up. Other than the obvious chapter about Susan succumbing to the disease, the other chapter that gave me pause was the history of the mastectomy and painstaking detail of what that was like before modern medicine, especially pain medicine! I can't imagine what our ancestors went through. I'm shocked anyone survived that.
So, I've been a little emotional. Overall, I'm fine. Probably even better than fine. I went in for my calcium shot last week and got a clean bill of health. I'm running nearly 20 miles a week and have full range of motion in my arm. There is not much I can complain about. (Yet, I still have a long list of complaints.)
The girls love school and are both thriving. Tonight they are with Jeff at a Y-Princess camp out with their tribe called Blazing Saddles. The weatherman forecast a low of 37 tonight and Jeff was hacking and wheezing before he ever left home. Bouncing Bunny (Grace) and Twisted Vine (Rose) were so excited that Hunting Wolf (Jeff) couldn't let them down. So he took them. I recommended they come home to sleep (they are only about 10 miles from the house) but they would have none of it. So, while they enjoy sleeping on the ground under a beautiful harvest moon ... I am tucked snuggly in our bed with the electric blanket on me and a fat cat curled at my feet. What am I doing without them? Thus far, I've had the luxury of shopping at the Junior League Shopping Spree and an Italian dinner with a girlfriend. I'm planning to run at least 8 miles in the morning. Life is good. This is the best camp out EVER ... okay, I was actually jealous when I heard about hashbrowns and bacon for breakfast although I do like having the entire bed to myself!
I've missed blogging but have struggled with what is interesting and appropriate to post. I hope to get back to it this fall in between training for a half marathon, finishing up a couple quilts, getting ready for the girls birthday and the holidays, a vacation to the Smokies, work for a school board that I'm on, my role at church and of course ... my job. I am ready for the holidays to refresh and take some time off.
When you look into your closet tomorrow ... embrace Pink for the women in your life. We can wear red in November!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
One Year Anniversary
Rose told me at dinner tonight that she had her first grade class (private school)praise God today because I'm a survivor. She must have heard Jeff and I talking that indeed, today is the one year anniversary of my surgery. She told me she was really glad that I'm a survivor. It surprised me that she even thinks about it since I feel like we've moved on and seldom mention it. We jokingly celebrated with chicken pot pie from Asbury United Methodist Church and a very over-zealous schedule of ballet, soccer and Y Princesses.
The house is quiet now and it's given me a few minutes to reflect on the last few months when we've gone at full speed seldom slowing down to rest. I just passed all my exams, mammogram, chest x-ray, bloodwork, etc. and there is "no evidence of disease". Yet when Rose brings my cancer up out of the blue I have to think there is actually still evidence of disease. Cancer definitely changed me. There is evidence, beyond the physical scars, that cancer permeated my family. We're a little closer as a family, I have much stronger friendships than I did prior to cancer, I'm not shy about telling people how much I appreciate them and I have a lot more empathy for those around me. Yes, there is still "evidence of the disease" but it's much more positive than I ever expected.
Live life large.
The house is quiet now and it's given me a few minutes to reflect on the last few months when we've gone at full speed seldom slowing down to rest. I just passed all my exams, mammogram, chest x-ray, bloodwork, etc. and there is "no evidence of disease". Yet when Rose brings my cancer up out of the blue I have to think there is actually still evidence of disease. Cancer definitely changed me. There is evidence, beyond the physical scars, that cancer permeated my family. We're a little closer as a family, I have much stronger friendships than I did prior to cancer, I'm not shy about telling people how much I appreciate them and I have a lot more empathy for those around me. Yes, there is still "evidence of the disease" but it's much more positive than I ever expected.
Live life large.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Ann's Fans Run It Out!
This past weekend was Race for the Cure. My team, led by my sister, Ann's Fans raised more than $5,000 for the Komen Foundation! I couldn't be more proud or thankful to all who contributed and supported me and my family along the way. Thank you. Between this year and last year, Ann's Fans has raised more than $17,000 for Komen!
I wasn't sure what to expect going into the race this year. I was nervous about how my emotions would settle out. It is difficult to believe that last year it was difficult to walk the full three miles. I just keep remembering that last year I didn't have much hair and I was pretty exhausted just walking up the hill. This year was very different.
We arrived at 6:30 on race day and there were pink shirts everywhere ... until we toed it up on the start line for the 7:00 a.m. competitive race. There were only 34 competitive survivors and I was proud to be one of them. My dad, brother-in-law and sister all joined Nancy and I for the big "fast" run. My goal was to break 30 minutes and to finish in the top ten -- for survivors.
It was hot from the start and we ran a great first half but after that the heat started to take it's toll. By the 2.5 mile marker, I had to walk a bit to catch my breath after a few of the hills and I ran all over the road to catch every sprinkler that was along the road. In the end, I finished at 31:11 and in 11th place. I didn't quite make my goal but it gives me a good baseline to work toward. I'm most proud of Frances Widmann. I don't know her but she is a 74 year old survivor that beat me by about a minute! She must have a lot of spunk and moxy!
After we cooled off from that race, we went to meet the rest of the team under the trees. We had a total of about 60 members on the team and dozens more donated. I had great support from Gibbs & Soell and I saw several of the young ladies from the office on race morning. We also had a good showing from Asbury United Methodist Church.
At 8:45 it felt like it was 100 degrees out and we were sweating before we started. We walked a lot of the race with our friends, the Jeffries. Andrew, as always, was prepared with water bottles and squirt guns which kept all four of the kids interested and moving forward. The sprinklers on the second half of the course couldn't come fast enough for them. I'm not sure they could have been any wetter if they were in a pool. My brother and his wife joined us as well and pushed my nephews along the way ... they were coated in sweat. My mom met us all at the finish line and we walked it in together! That's always the highlight for me. It's great to have such awesome support.
Suffice to say, we had a great time. The Race for the Cure is such an awesome event when you see all the pink shirts and women in so many stages of life who have been affected by this miserable disease. As we crossed the finish line, there was a man holding a poster of a beautiful woman and the dates of her life were written below her photo. She'd passed sometime earlier this year. Rose asked me why he was carrying her poster and I explained that she had died and couldn't be there to run. Rose asked the obvious question: how she died. I said, "cancer, probably" and Rose's blue eyes got huge and her eyebrows shot up. I quickly dropped to my knee and explained to her that I'm very healthy right now and she doesn't need to worry. I had a tear in my eye though. And, a fellow survivor patted me on the back and congratulated me on a job well done. She had a tear too. I don't think she meant the race.
Peace.
I wasn't sure what to expect going into the race this year. I was nervous about how my emotions would settle out. It is difficult to believe that last year it was difficult to walk the full three miles. I just keep remembering that last year I didn't have much hair and I was pretty exhausted just walking up the hill. This year was very different.
We arrived at 6:30 on race day and there were pink shirts everywhere ... until we toed it up on the start line for the 7:00 a.m. competitive race. There were only 34 competitive survivors and I was proud to be one of them. My dad, brother-in-law and sister all joined Nancy and I for the big "fast" run. My goal was to break 30 minutes and to finish in the top ten -- for survivors.
It was hot from the start and we ran a great first half but after that the heat started to take it's toll. By the 2.5 mile marker, I had to walk a bit to catch my breath after a few of the hills and I ran all over the road to catch every sprinkler that was along the road. In the end, I finished at 31:11 and in 11th place. I didn't quite make my goal but it gives me a good baseline to work toward. I'm most proud of Frances Widmann. I don't know her but she is a 74 year old survivor that beat me by about a minute! She must have a lot of spunk and moxy!
After we cooled off from that race, we went to meet the rest of the team under the trees. We had a total of about 60 members on the team and dozens more donated. I had great support from Gibbs & Soell and I saw several of the young ladies from the office on race morning. We also had a good showing from Asbury United Methodist Church.
At 8:45 it felt like it was 100 degrees out and we were sweating before we started. We walked a lot of the race with our friends, the Jeffries. Andrew, as always, was prepared with water bottles and squirt guns which kept all four of the kids interested and moving forward. The sprinklers on the second half of the course couldn't come fast enough for them. I'm not sure they could have been any wetter if they were in a pool. My brother and his wife joined us as well and pushed my nephews along the way ... they were coated in sweat. My mom met us all at the finish line and we walked it in together! That's always the highlight for me. It's great to have such awesome support.
Suffice to say, we had a great time. The Race for the Cure is such an awesome event when you see all the pink shirts and women in so many stages of life who have been affected by this miserable disease. As we crossed the finish line, there was a man holding a poster of a beautiful woman and the dates of her life were written below her photo. She'd passed sometime earlier this year. Rose asked me why he was carrying her poster and I explained that she had died and couldn't be there to run. Rose asked the obvious question: how she died. I said, "cancer, probably" and Rose's blue eyes got huge and her eyebrows shot up. I quickly dropped to my knee and explained to her that I'm very healthy right now and she doesn't need to worry. I had a tear in my eye though. And, a fellow survivor patted me on the back and congratulated me on a job well done. She had a tear too. I don't think she meant the race.
Peace.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Nothing Mini About It
Looking back, it’s still pretty amazing to me that I was lucky enough to run with SEVEN family members in the Indy Mini. In early May. Of 2010.
I had hoped to run the Indy Mini last year but I didn’t sign up early enough … so my friend Nancy Zech ran it last year and boasted about how great it was. Subsequently, at one of our family events last year we all started talking about running the Mini. And, one thing led to another and in early November, seven of my close friends and family signed up for the Mini. My husband and I are both from Indiana and he’s a huge Indy car fan so when he heard you get to run the track … even he signed up.
Training was tough. First, it’s tough for both of us to train and find times throughout the weekend to schedule long runs around church, soccer and other commitments – including and especially -- laziness. Second, I’m not in as good of shape as I was last year … the effects of chemo and radiation definitely took a toll on my body.
Checking the weather as we packed we knew it would be chilly. I was stressing about which shoes to wear. On long runs, my new Saucony shoes leave my toes feeling like someone took a baseball bat to the base of all my toes. My older shoes, Asics, often cause my knee to hurt and I think the lack of padding changes my stride. At the last minute, I took my old shoes.
On Friday, Jeff and the girls and I had a leisurely lunch with my former travel buddy in the rice field of Louisiana where she provided us with great knowledge of the course – including where her “patent pending pit toilet” strategy. It came in real handy on Mile 6. We ran into a dear friend from high school at packet pick-up and had just a few minutes to exchange pleasantries and wish each other luck.
Throughout the afternoon, friends and family started converging on the Spring Hill Suites which was located right at the start line. Most of us could see it from our hotel windows. I can't say enough about the SpringHill Suites, it was great!
With our support crew and cheerleaders, there were 17 of us at TGIFridays (a very short walk from the hotel in what may have been a smattering of rain) for our pre-race dinner. Nearly half the table enjoyed the Bruschetta pasta dinner. Selection was slim! The weather report was predicting 40 degrees and windy. We were all strategizing about what to wear – tights, shorts, Capri, long sleeves or short … the list went on.
Someone had mentioned beach balls and as we made our way to Corral O, the place was crazy with hundreds of beach balls bouncing over heads. With 1,500 runners in each corral, it was a sea of arms fending off these ferocious beach balls. They came faster and harder as we waited for the starting gun.
Finally, we were off. Within two miles, we had seen at least four bands of varying talents and skills, the 33 Indy princesses working a water stop and an elephant! That’s right … you run past the zoo and along the river for a while. It was at mile 2 that I waved my 67 year old father, my sister and my sister-in-law (who just had a baby in Nov.) onward. My race strategy was to walk about a tenth of a mile at every mile marker. Only Jeff stayed behind with me.
We motored on … usually in silence … just enjoying the many, many bands. We ate our Gu, we nibbled on shot blocks. There were water stops and Gatorade at every half mile. It was a well stocked course. You could throw a water cup behind you and it would get caught in the gusts and pass you … As usual, I had an old t-shirt to shed … it took me until mile 3 or 4 to drop it off. I then was sporting my new “Will Run for Wine” shirt in a nice Merlot color!
About mile 6, we were running through an industrial section of town and finally turned right onto “Main Street” in Speedway. It was our route into THE track. The Brickyard. While the stands were deserted, it was cool and awe inspiring to imagine what it must be like to race there. This is where my lunch with Carla really paid off and I took her advice to find the third set of pit toilets … where there were toilets that flushed with no line! I washed the Gu off my hands.
Our walk/run strategy was working well until we hit the track. It was just so cool that we walked a lot! We pulled out our digital camera and staged a few photo opps of the runners, the stands and the enormity of the track. There is only one yard of bricks remaining at the Brickyard and the tradition is that the winner of the 500 kisses them … we took the opportunity! It was great! I’ll post pictures on Facebook.
Meanwhile, we kept passing and getting passed by a woman who was running in just a running bra and was fairly pregnant. About 4 or 5 months. She stopped at every port-a-jon and we stopped at every mile which gave us a game of cat and mouse all the way back to the start line! We ran past an older man in his 60’s or more who wasn’t wearing a shirt … might not have been so memorable if you couldn’t see his thong that he was wearing … no it wasn’t a jock strap! It was a thong! Seriously!
The course back was overall unremarkable and the crowds were sparse (they may have been blown east to Ohio). We did pass a restaurant/bar that offered fresh fish and frog legs. We were temped. We trotted along and at one time picked up a sweatshirt as a souvenir for my friend Nancy … but we quickly tired of carrying it and shed it near IUPUI. My brother called me as we were entering mile 10 and let me know he was at the 13 mile marker. We trudged on. Jeff and I were both starting to get tired and were trying not to complain.
Finally you could see the crowds and we passed the final water break, which was the Indy princesses again! Jeff and I kept going and saw our girls and my mother and brother right beyond mile marker 13 just as we were finishing! I really felt like I earned this medal! We ran into my Uncle John and Cousin Mike at the finish line.
Apparently, somewhere along the way, we passed my dad, sister and sister-in-law – they were probably in line for the potty! They finished shortly behind us.
I feel really lucky. This time last year I was bald and in the worst of the chemo. It was difficult to walk just 2 or 3 miles … so it feels great to have made such progress in a year. I couldn’t have done it without a whole lot of support. Thanks to Stephanie and Nancy for dragging me out on so many mornings when I really didn’t want to go. Thanks to my family for believing in me and supporting me and being such great examples of a healthy lifestyle. And, I’m really proud of my husband … who barely trained for this and was a real champ. His biggest concern was me and I’m really lucky to have him. Congrats on your first half!
As I think about our next adventure though … I have to wonder if we could morph into the kind of family that just rent s a house on the beach for the week, or goes on a cruise, or just has a reunion with barbecue and carrot cake in the backyard. And, while we’re all there we could talk about running Nashville or Disney or Vegas or …
I had hoped to run the Indy Mini last year but I didn’t sign up early enough … so my friend Nancy Zech ran it last year and boasted about how great it was. Subsequently, at one of our family events last year we all started talking about running the Mini. And, one thing led to another and in early November, seven of my close friends and family signed up for the Mini. My husband and I are both from Indiana and he’s a huge Indy car fan so when he heard you get to run the track … even he signed up.
Training was tough. First, it’s tough for both of us to train and find times throughout the weekend to schedule long runs around church, soccer and other commitments – including and especially -- laziness. Second, I’m not in as good of shape as I was last year … the effects of chemo and radiation definitely took a toll on my body.
Checking the weather as we packed we knew it would be chilly. I was stressing about which shoes to wear. On long runs, my new Saucony shoes leave my toes feeling like someone took a baseball bat to the base of all my toes. My older shoes, Asics, often cause my knee to hurt and I think the lack of padding changes my stride. At the last minute, I took my old shoes.
On Friday, Jeff and the girls and I had a leisurely lunch with my former travel buddy in the rice field of Louisiana where she provided us with great knowledge of the course – including where her “patent pending pit toilet” strategy. It came in real handy on Mile 6. We ran into a dear friend from high school at packet pick-up and had just a few minutes to exchange pleasantries and wish each other luck.
Throughout the afternoon, friends and family started converging on the Spring Hill Suites which was located right at the start line. Most of us could see it from our hotel windows. I can't say enough about the SpringHill Suites, it was great!
With our support crew and cheerleaders, there were 17 of us at TGIFridays (a very short walk from the hotel in what may have been a smattering of rain) for our pre-race dinner. Nearly half the table enjoyed the Bruschetta pasta dinner. Selection was slim! The weather report was predicting 40 degrees and windy. We were all strategizing about what to wear – tights, shorts, Capri, long sleeves or short … the list went on.
Someone had mentioned beach balls and as we made our way to Corral O, the place was crazy with hundreds of beach balls bouncing over heads. With 1,500 runners in each corral, it was a sea of arms fending off these ferocious beach balls. They came faster and harder as we waited for the starting gun.
Finally, we were off. Within two miles, we had seen at least four bands of varying talents and skills, the 33 Indy princesses working a water stop and an elephant! That’s right … you run past the zoo and along the river for a while. It was at mile 2 that I waved my 67 year old father, my sister and my sister-in-law (who just had a baby in Nov.) onward. My race strategy was to walk about a tenth of a mile at every mile marker. Only Jeff stayed behind with me.
We motored on … usually in silence … just enjoying the many, many bands. We ate our Gu, we nibbled on shot blocks. There were water stops and Gatorade at every half mile. It was a well stocked course. You could throw a water cup behind you and it would get caught in the gusts and pass you … As usual, I had an old t-shirt to shed … it took me until mile 3 or 4 to drop it off. I then was sporting my new “Will Run for Wine” shirt in a nice Merlot color!
About mile 6, we were running through an industrial section of town and finally turned right onto “Main Street” in Speedway. It was our route into THE track. The Brickyard. While the stands were deserted, it was cool and awe inspiring to imagine what it must be like to race there. This is where my lunch with Carla really paid off and I took her advice to find the third set of pit toilets … where there were toilets that flushed with no line! I washed the Gu off my hands.
Our walk/run strategy was working well until we hit the track. It was just so cool that we walked a lot! We pulled out our digital camera and staged a few photo opps of the runners, the stands and the enormity of the track. There is only one yard of bricks remaining at the Brickyard and the tradition is that the winner of the 500 kisses them … we took the opportunity! It was great! I’ll post pictures on Facebook.
Meanwhile, we kept passing and getting passed by a woman who was running in just a running bra and was fairly pregnant. About 4 or 5 months. She stopped at every port-a-jon and we stopped at every mile which gave us a game of cat and mouse all the way back to the start line! We ran past an older man in his 60’s or more who wasn’t wearing a shirt … might not have been so memorable if you couldn’t see his thong that he was wearing … no it wasn’t a jock strap! It was a thong! Seriously!
The course back was overall unremarkable and the crowds were sparse (they may have been blown east to Ohio). We did pass a restaurant/bar that offered fresh fish and frog legs. We were temped. We trotted along and at one time picked up a sweatshirt as a souvenir for my friend Nancy … but we quickly tired of carrying it and shed it near IUPUI. My brother called me as we were entering mile 10 and let me know he was at the 13 mile marker. We trudged on. Jeff and I were both starting to get tired and were trying not to complain.
Finally you could see the crowds and we passed the final water break, which was the Indy princesses again! Jeff and I kept going and saw our girls and my mother and brother right beyond mile marker 13 just as we were finishing! I really felt like I earned this medal! We ran into my Uncle John and Cousin Mike at the finish line.
Apparently, somewhere along the way, we passed my dad, sister and sister-in-law – they were probably in line for the potty! They finished shortly behind us.
I feel really lucky. This time last year I was bald and in the worst of the chemo. It was difficult to walk just 2 or 3 miles … so it feels great to have made such progress in a year. I couldn’t have done it without a whole lot of support. Thanks to Stephanie and Nancy for dragging me out on so many mornings when I really didn’t want to go. Thanks to my family for believing in me and supporting me and being such great examples of a healthy lifestyle. And, I’m really proud of my husband … who barely trained for this and was a real champ. His biggest concern was me and I’m really lucky to have him. Congrats on your first half!
As I think about our next adventure though … I have to wonder if we could morph into the kind of family that just rent s a house on the beach for the week, or goes on a cruise, or just has a reunion with barbecue and carrot cake in the backyard. And, while we’re all there we could talk about running Nashville or Disney or Vegas or …
Friday, April 30, 2010
Ann's Fans: Volume II
My beautiful sister has started back up my Race for the Cure team again ... it's called Ann's Fans and we're hoping to get many of you to join us again.
http://bit.ly/bmnFNr
If you weren't there last year ... it was crazy good! We had more than 100 people on the team and raised $12,000 dollars. Dozens of my colleagues at Gibbs & Soell joined us for the walk/run. My tears swelled that morning (again and again) but especially as I wrote the word "ME" on the the sign I work. I was running for "ME" and others but it's scary to write your own name. My biggest fear was that my girls would one day have to switch to the tag "In Memory of ..." and then fill in my name. I swallow hard just thinking about that.
A year later, that's still a concern I have. A sparkly woman from my church who helped me through so much of last year has just had a significant cancer scare and is now facing several surgeries. My heart aches for her as I think about the hills and valleys that she'll encounter this year. I know she's very strong and in such a better place than she was during her first battle with breast cancer. As survivors, we will always have that little nagging ... what if ...
Please consider joining us in the hills and valleys. I'm really fortunate to be in a beautiful valley right now. My health is good. I'm getting a three hour infusion in the chemo lab as I type and I'm again touched by all the different people here for various medical states. We offer one another shy grins. No one wants to ask ... "how long you been coming?"
I've nominated Jeff for party planning. We were trying to rent out our clubhouse pool for Sat. evening but we'll also scouting other options. We'd love a chance to celebrate with all of our friends and families and take the opporutnity to really make a difference.
Next weekend, I am running a half marathon with many family members and friends. I'm not in as good of shape as I'd like but I'll finish it. I'll provide my race report here after I'm done.
http://bit.ly/bmnFNr
If you weren't there last year ... it was crazy good! We had more than 100 people on the team and raised $12,000 dollars. Dozens of my colleagues at Gibbs & Soell joined us for the walk/run. My tears swelled that morning (again and again) but especially as I wrote the word "ME" on the the sign I work. I was running for "ME" and others but it's scary to write your own name. My biggest fear was that my girls would one day have to switch to the tag "In Memory of ..." and then fill in my name. I swallow hard just thinking about that.
A year later, that's still a concern I have. A sparkly woman from my church who helped me through so much of last year has just had a significant cancer scare and is now facing several surgeries. My heart aches for her as I think about the hills and valleys that she'll encounter this year. I know she's very strong and in such a better place than she was during her first battle with breast cancer. As survivors, we will always have that little nagging ... what if ...
Please consider joining us in the hills and valleys. I'm really fortunate to be in a beautiful valley right now. My health is good. I'm getting a three hour infusion in the chemo lab as I type and I'm again touched by all the different people here for various medical states. We offer one another shy grins. No one wants to ask ... "how long you been coming?"
I've nominated Jeff for party planning. We were trying to rent out our clubhouse pool for Sat. evening but we'll also scouting other options. We'd love a chance to celebrate with all of our friends and families and take the opporutnity to really make a difference.
Next weekend, I am running a half marathon with many family members and friends. I'm not in as good of shape as I'd like but I'll finish it. I'll provide my race report here after I'm done.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
It's not called Chapel Flat
On Saturday morning the alarm went off at 5:15. (It seemed wrong to me as well.) I pushed Jeff out of bed and we quietly put on our running attire and slipped out the door. Our friend, Tim, came to read the paper while the girls slept in. We met Nancy at Starbucks (which was still closed) shortly after 6. I like to think that we were just fashionably late but at 6:00 a.m., it's just rude. Sorry, Nancy.
We ran into my sister and her brother-in-law, Daryl, when we were parking at Chapel Hill and we all made our way to the start line. You could call this my "reentry" into competitive running ... except my times aren't competitive. The gun went off at 7:30 and we took off running around Chapel Hill. The challenge: The Tar Heel Ten Miler. It was in the 40's and beautiful. The azaleas, tulips and dogwoods are all blooming in unison and some of the neighborhoods we ran through were like running inside of a Southern Living spread ... except with serious elevation changes.
After 3 miles of running, I really wanted to turn left with all the runners who were just signed up for 4 miles ... but Nancy and Jeff surrounded me like bodyguards. They ushered me on toward mile 5. We ran past the famous Dean Dome and the Old Well. We ran down the bar district of Franklin Street. It was really beautiful. It was about this time I noticed that there was this man in his late 40's or so that passed us ... in a wheel chair. I think his name was Wayne. We'd pass each other on the hills, and he didn't have a fitness wheel chair. He'd roll down the hill past us and we'd catch him on the next one.
Much of the course was the same course that I walked with the girls several weeks ago through the Get Real and Heel program, which benefits breast cancer survivors. So, at some places along the route Nancy and Jeff would be talking to me and I was completely zoned out considering where I was a year ago (bald and in the worst of the chemo treatments). I considered how much my faith has grown and been tested in the last year. Running between Nancy and Jeff was a real treat. They were very encouraging when I wanted to walk every hill (and there are a lot of them) and I reflected as I walked/jogged how much these two (among others) have helped me get through the year. Not only were they coaching me through the run on Sat. but they were two of my biggest coaches last year and I'm really grateful for that. Wayne kept passing us and I wanted to say something clever but I couldn't think of anything. It was like a chant in my head, "This is Chapel HILL ... not Chapel FLAT." Have I mentioned it was hilly?
As I ran/walked/crawled up mile 9, which was similar in topography to Mt. Mitchell, I thought about what I would say as we crossed the finish line and how I should thank them both and let them know how much I care about them and how grateful I am to have them surrounding me. By the last mile we were running again and as we ran through the parking lot near Kenan Stadium the man in the wheelchair went zooming past us and asked us, "Are you going to let a fat man in a wheel chair beat you?" I was shocked. I'd wanted to tell this man how impressed I was with his stamina, endurance and discipline and suddenly he was talking smack ... so I asked him, "Are you going to let a cancer survivor beat you?" I don't know who was more surprised. I was stunned and embarrassed that I said that out loud. I can't imagine the trials and inconveniences that this man endures.
We sprinted through toward the tunnel and unfortunately for him it was an incline so we beat him to the path around the football field. It was really neat to see the inside of the stadium (there were hedges planted there I think ... odd). Our faces were on the Jumbo tron as we crossed the finish line and then it was over. They handed us our medal and we were done. As we made our way out of the stadium I saw the man in the wheelchair again and I congratulated him on a good finish. It was about 9:20.
So, that's my race report. It was a great run. It physically hurt and I'm not in the kind of shape I'd like to be. But, I'm really grateful that I got to run with one of my running buddies and my husband. More than anything I'm very appreciative to all the people who helped me get there Tim, Stacy, Nancy, Jean, Stephanie and my family -- Thank you to everyone! I certainly didn't do it alone. I'm hopeful that I'll get a chance to go back next year and run it again using my time this year as my benchmark. And, of course, I'll try to encourage more of my running buddies to join us. You know who you are.
... now I just have to decide if I want to run the New York marathon this fall ... anyone have a contact at ING who can help me get in?
We ran into my sister and her brother-in-law, Daryl, when we were parking at Chapel Hill and we all made our way to the start line. You could call this my "reentry" into competitive running ... except my times aren't competitive. The gun went off at 7:30 and we took off running around Chapel Hill. The challenge: The Tar Heel Ten Miler. It was in the 40's and beautiful. The azaleas, tulips and dogwoods are all blooming in unison and some of the neighborhoods we ran through were like running inside of a Southern Living spread ... except with serious elevation changes.
After 3 miles of running, I really wanted to turn left with all the runners who were just signed up for 4 miles ... but Nancy and Jeff surrounded me like bodyguards. They ushered me on toward mile 5. We ran past the famous Dean Dome and the Old Well. We ran down the bar district of Franklin Street. It was really beautiful. It was about this time I noticed that there was this man in his late 40's or so that passed us ... in a wheel chair. I think his name was Wayne. We'd pass each other on the hills, and he didn't have a fitness wheel chair. He'd roll down the hill past us and we'd catch him on the next one.
Much of the course was the same course that I walked with the girls several weeks ago through the Get Real and Heel program, which benefits breast cancer survivors. So, at some places along the route Nancy and Jeff would be talking to me and I was completely zoned out considering where I was a year ago (bald and in the worst of the chemo treatments). I considered how much my faith has grown and been tested in the last year. Running between Nancy and Jeff was a real treat. They were very encouraging when I wanted to walk every hill (and there are a lot of them) and I reflected as I walked/jogged how much these two (among others) have helped me get through the year. Not only were they coaching me through the run on Sat. but they were two of my biggest coaches last year and I'm really grateful for that. Wayne kept passing us and I wanted to say something clever but I couldn't think of anything. It was like a chant in my head, "This is Chapel HILL ... not Chapel FLAT." Have I mentioned it was hilly?
As I ran/walked/crawled up mile 9, which was similar in topography to Mt. Mitchell, I thought about what I would say as we crossed the finish line and how I should thank them both and let them know how much I care about them and how grateful I am to have them surrounding me. By the last mile we were running again and as we ran through the parking lot near Kenan Stadium the man in the wheelchair went zooming past us and asked us, "Are you going to let a fat man in a wheel chair beat you?" I was shocked. I'd wanted to tell this man how impressed I was with his stamina, endurance and discipline and suddenly he was talking smack ... so I asked him, "Are you going to let a cancer survivor beat you?" I don't know who was more surprised. I was stunned and embarrassed that I said that out loud. I can't imagine the trials and inconveniences that this man endures.
We sprinted through toward the tunnel and unfortunately for him it was an incline so we beat him to the path around the football field. It was really neat to see the inside of the stadium (there were hedges planted there I think ... odd). Our faces were on the Jumbo tron as we crossed the finish line and then it was over. They handed us our medal and we were done. As we made our way out of the stadium I saw the man in the wheelchair again and I congratulated him on a good finish. It was about 9:20.
So, that's my race report. It was a great run. It physically hurt and I'm not in the kind of shape I'd like to be. But, I'm really grateful that I got to run with one of my running buddies and my husband. More than anything I'm very appreciative to all the people who helped me get there Tim, Stacy, Nancy, Jean, Stephanie and my family -- Thank you to everyone! I certainly didn't do it alone. I'm hopeful that I'll get a chance to go back next year and run it again using my time this year as my benchmark. And, of course, I'll try to encourage more of my running buddies to join us. You know who you are.
... now I just have to decide if I want to run the New York marathon this fall ... anyone have a contact at ING who can help me get in?
Monday, April 5, 2010
Bunny Poop.
Easter with the family. It was nice to have hair this year! We had hats just for the fun of it this year ... maybe it will become a tradition for me and the girls. This green hat was one of the first I bought last year and I don't know that I ever wore it. The girls are showing off their missing teeth .. Rose is missing one on the top and Grace is missing one on the bottom. The Easter Bunny brought them very bright and long kites. Of course, it was 90 degrees and very still out so they didn't get to use them much. We let them run up and down the sidewalk with a few yards of line. They were thrilled. They especially loved finding "bunny poop" (mini marshmallows) all over the hallway, stairs and creating a trail all the way to their baskets.
I was really fortunate to spend Easter with my brother and sister and their families on my back porch most of the weekend! We had a long run (around 8 miles) on Sat. as most of us prepare for a race in Indy in early May. I'm not sure I can run it all but I have heard that there is no shame in walking!
Happy Easter!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Doctor appointment
I've got a "regular" doctor appointment this morning and the anxiety is killing me. I don't know why. I should be healthy enough. But lately I wonder. My running is horrible and I'm having a difficult time keeping my breath, my energy is low and my chest hurts. I'm terrified that he's going to find something. I'm reading a book called AntiCancer and it focuses on diet and exercise and suddenly I realize there is so much more that I should be doing. It's not rocket science ... eat good and exercise for 30 minutes a day (which does not mean 10 mile runs every weekend ...)
Anyway ... I just needed to get that off my chest and admit that I'm still nervous. I wish all the angst could go away.
Anyway ... I just needed to get that off my chest and admit that I'm still nervous. I wish all the angst could go away.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Random Thoughts by an Overstressed Executive Mom
I have been sick this week. Not serious: just a head cold and it is certainly nothing out of the ordinary. I have a throat that feels like fire and a nose that is drippy at best. So, I went into the doctor on Tues. It's the first time I've been sick since chemo ended and admittedly it freaked me out. I just wasn't sure how my body would react. I'm a little worried about how my immune system was going to hold up. Fortunately, I mentioned it to the nurse and she had also fought breast cancer much of last year and been in a similar situation. She assured me that it was normal to panic a little. The doctor assured me I'd be fine with more fluids and rest ... so I slept some more. I feel a little better at the end of this week but I'm still exhausted. That could be that I'm watching basketball!
---
Jeff has started working again. It's a part-time contract position with the North Carolina Department of Agriculture. Ironically, it's been right at six years since he resigned to stay home with the girls. That was one of the best decisions we made. He is responsible for overseeing the execution of grants for the specialty crop block grant program. It's a lot of paperwork to which he is adapting. I am really proud of him for getting a job in an industry that we are both so passionate about, but it's also a strain on the family as we adjust to him having a more structured day and limited flexibility. We're all slowly stepping up some although you couldn't tell it from the five loads of laundry that we need to put away.
---
Grace is flourishing as a budding bookworm. She is really enjoying reading everything her eyes come across. This has huge ramifications for me as I often leave lists and documents around the house and now she can read much of it. She was quick to tell me that the dental hygienist called her "hysterical" and "cute as a button." She was so proud. I stifled a laugh when Jeff talked about her trip to the dentist, he mentioned that she was nearly in-hysterics when they tried to use fluoride on her teeth ... she would not let them. Hysterics and hysterical ... hate that I missed that adventure. I'm enjoying teaching her all the various definitions for various words ... like hysterical.
---
Rose continues to be a bundle of energy and full of life. She goes full throttle and wide open. Now that spring has arrived she is usually in the backyard and at night we are finding handfuls of leaves in her hair. She's started soccer and my only regret is that our yard is not more conducive to practicing the drills. She's extremely proud of a panda bear that she made at Build-A-Bear last weekend. She dressed Oreo, the panda, in a soccer outfit! I look forward to being a soccer mom, she really enjoys it.
---
In the morning, the girls and I are doing a three mile walk in Chapel Hill. It's for a non-profit group called "Get Real and Heel" that focuses on helping breast cancer patients recover through a five month intensive exercise and healthy lifestyle program. One of their staff has been helping me on the rare occasions that I make it inside the YMCA. It's an excellent program for survivors and I wish I lived close enough to take advantage of it. I'm signed up for several long distance races in the next few months and I'm struggling to run several times a week. We will be putting together a Race for the Cure team in the next few weeks so I'll be posting that information as soon as I have it.
That's the update at the Camden house. Oh, and we're watching basketball!!! Go Boilers! Beat Duke!
---
Jeff has started working again. It's a part-time contract position with the North Carolina Department of Agriculture. Ironically, it's been right at six years since he resigned to stay home with the girls. That was one of the best decisions we made. He is responsible for overseeing the execution of grants for the specialty crop block grant program. It's a lot of paperwork to which he is adapting. I am really proud of him for getting a job in an industry that we are both so passionate about, but it's also a strain on the family as we adjust to him having a more structured day and limited flexibility. We're all slowly stepping up some although you couldn't tell it from the five loads of laundry that we need to put away.
---
Grace is flourishing as a budding bookworm. She is really enjoying reading everything her eyes come across. This has huge ramifications for me as I often leave lists and documents around the house and now she can read much of it. She was quick to tell me that the dental hygienist called her "hysterical" and "cute as a button." She was so proud. I stifled a laugh when Jeff talked about her trip to the dentist, he mentioned that she was nearly in-hysterics when they tried to use fluoride on her teeth ... she would not let them. Hysterics and hysterical ... hate that I missed that adventure. I'm enjoying teaching her all the various definitions for various words ... like hysterical.
---
Rose continues to be a bundle of energy and full of life. She goes full throttle and wide open. Now that spring has arrived she is usually in the backyard and at night we are finding handfuls of leaves in her hair. She's started soccer and my only regret is that our yard is not more conducive to practicing the drills. She's extremely proud of a panda bear that she made at Build-A-Bear last weekend. She dressed Oreo, the panda, in a soccer outfit! I look forward to being a soccer mom, she really enjoys it.
---
In the morning, the girls and I are doing a three mile walk in Chapel Hill. It's for a non-profit group called "Get Real and Heel" that focuses on helping breast cancer patients recover through a five month intensive exercise and healthy lifestyle program. One of their staff has been helping me on the rare occasions that I make it inside the YMCA. It's an excellent program for survivors and I wish I lived close enough to take advantage of it. I'm signed up for several long distance races in the next few months and I'm struggling to run several times a week. We will be putting together a Race for the Cure team in the next few weeks so I'll be posting that information as soon as I have it.
That's the update at the Camden house. Oh, and we're watching basketball!!! Go Boilers! Beat Duke!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
God Called a Good One Home
This weekend we are grieving and struggling with death. On Monday morning, our good friend Gerry Reid was hit by a semi-truck on I-40. I could go into all the bizarre and ironic aspects of the story but I won't. I'll back up and remember that last Friday at our Life Group (through our church), of which Gerry was a huge part, the conversation was about God's will and how difficult it is to pray for that to be done. And this week as I've watched his wife handle his coma and a battery of tests that never seemed to go our way ... she is a living testament to God's will. Yesterday, Gerry went onto heaven. I like to think he is on a mission to scout out good bands for us to hear one day.
Gerry was an interesting guy with a great knack for story telling. He was an awesome dad and he loved his brothers -- loved to tell stories about his family. He always made you feel good when you were around him and people adored him. He was smart and down to earth. He was very genuine and curious about everything. He exposed his kids to all different kinds of adventures. In early February, he didn't hesitate when we called him to go to the rodeo. I told him we were trying to decide who would be crazy enough to go to "Bulls and Barrels" and we had a great time cheering for the cowboys. It was a hoot and a great blast of redneck thrown in.
Throughout my journey last year Mandy, his wife, sent me great notes of encouragement and brought us terrific homemade bread and Gerry filled my inbox with thoughts on diet and how it might affect my side effects of chemo and radiation. Just last week, we were having a great discussion about Michael Pollan and our own personal Food Rules. Here were the ones he sent me last week:
No processed\simple carbs (bread, pasta, french fries, potatoes) unless immediately after work out
Meat, beans, leaves and berries should be primary foods.
If it comes from a factory don't eat it.
Green tea and fish oil every day
Supps: Vit D, Resveratrol, Zinc, Magnesium, COQ10, Turmeric and a big fat multi-vitamin.
I make exceptions of course, especially for beer and chocolate.
In this last week, Gerry taught me a lot about life and gave me yet another huge reminder that life is a gift and you never know when it might be taken away. People keep asking what they can do and right now ... Mandy just needs some time alone but I keep thinking there must be something so here's my list:
-- Give blood
-- Sign your organ donor card
-- Squeeze your loved ones and tell them you love them
-- Write a will and talk with your spouse no matter how uncomfortable the conversation
-- Eat healthy and plan to live a long time
-- Enjoy every day and thank God for all your blessings
-- Be genuinely nice
-- Have Faith and pray
We're really going to miss Gerry and we ache for his wife and kids. They have an amazing support system of family and friends; but we know there is nothing that can replace the love of their husband and father. If you have any suggestions for how we can help them through this difficult time, please share them with us.
Hug somebody.
Gerry was an interesting guy with a great knack for story telling. He was an awesome dad and he loved his brothers -- loved to tell stories about his family. He always made you feel good when you were around him and people adored him. He was smart and down to earth. He was very genuine and curious about everything. He exposed his kids to all different kinds of adventures. In early February, he didn't hesitate when we called him to go to the rodeo. I told him we were trying to decide who would be crazy enough to go to "Bulls and Barrels" and we had a great time cheering for the cowboys. It was a hoot and a great blast of redneck thrown in.
Throughout my journey last year Mandy, his wife, sent me great notes of encouragement and brought us terrific homemade bread and Gerry filled my inbox with thoughts on diet and how it might affect my side effects of chemo and radiation. Just last week, we were having a great discussion about Michael Pollan and our own personal Food Rules. Here were the ones he sent me last week:
No processed\simple carbs (bread, pasta, french fries, potatoes) unless immediately after work out
Meat, beans, leaves and berries should be primary foods.
If it comes from a factory don't eat it.
Green tea and fish oil every day
Supps: Vit D, Resveratrol, Zinc, Magnesium, COQ10, Turmeric and a big fat multi-vitamin.
I make exceptions of course, especially for beer and chocolate.
In this last week, Gerry taught me a lot about life and gave me yet another huge reminder that life is a gift and you never know when it might be taken away. People keep asking what they can do and right now ... Mandy just needs some time alone but I keep thinking there must be something so here's my list:
-- Give blood
-- Sign your organ donor card
-- Squeeze your loved ones and tell them you love them
-- Write a will and talk with your spouse no matter how uncomfortable the conversation
-- Eat healthy and plan to live a long time
-- Enjoy every day and thank God for all your blessings
-- Be genuinely nice
-- Have Faith and pray
We're really going to miss Gerry and we ache for his wife and kids. They have an amazing support system of family and friends; but we know there is nothing that can replace the love of their husband and father. If you have any suggestions for how we can help them through this difficult time, please share them with us.
Hug somebody.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
365 Days Later ... God Heals
Today is my one year anniversary of being a survivor. In some ways a lot has changed in a year and in other ways ... not much has changed at all. I'm still waiting the final results of my tests that I had run on Monday and my stitches are still healing from having the port catheter removed on Thursday. As I reflect back on the year, I'm so very thankful for all the kind words of encouragement, the prayers, the baby-sitters, the meals and all the help you've given our family.
I was fortunate enough to take the entire day as a vacation day to just spend with Jeff and the girls. I started the morning with a short run. I've got a long way to go before my half marathon in May but it felt good to just run my own pace and "talk to God" along the way. I'm really thankful for the overwhelming sense of peace that I have as I move forward with life. Then I drove carpool where the topic for three kindergartners was everything from dinner choices, maiden names, heaven and whether cats could feel a shot from the veterinarian. All that in just 20 minutes of driving! It was a riot! Jeff and I went for massages which was just an awesome feeling to be warm and mellow. Then we did a little window shopping and a nice lunch of shrimp and grits. I made banana blueberry chocolate chip bread with Rose this afternoon while Grace went with Jeff and Pete (our cat) to the vet. It was great to just spend the day focused on the family and our everyday mundane tasks. It was a great way to celebrate this milestone.
I'm preparing to moderate an awareness event for a ministry called "Hangin' on Faith" (wwww.hanginonfaith.com) on Friday night and I've keep coming back to this poem as I consider my remarks. Indeed, God heals ...
God Heals -- Author Unknown
Remember when you heard the words -- and your mind went blank -- you were in another world.
God heals.
Remember in your darkest hours -- when all that surrounds you is pain and sorrow
God heals.
Remember friends' prayers - your family's encouragement = glimmers of hope from everyday angels
God heals.
Quite ... you can hear Him now always there -- yet never close
God heals.
It's just another day -- yet everything has changed -- and you hear yourself say
God heals.
Birds are singing -- the sky is a beautiful blue - flowers are blooming ...
God heals.
Truths that you knew as a child -- awakened again with new understanding
God heals.
Remember when others can't - that life is a gift - each day to treasure.
God heals.
Amen! Indeed, I have felt that healing presence throughout the year.
Here's to many more years!
I was fortunate enough to take the entire day as a vacation day to just spend with Jeff and the girls. I started the morning with a short run. I've got a long way to go before my half marathon in May but it felt good to just run my own pace and "talk to God" along the way. I'm really thankful for the overwhelming sense of peace that I have as I move forward with life. Then I drove carpool where the topic for three kindergartners was everything from dinner choices, maiden names, heaven and whether cats could feel a shot from the veterinarian. All that in just 20 minutes of driving! It was a riot! Jeff and I went for massages which was just an awesome feeling to be warm and mellow. Then we did a little window shopping and a nice lunch of shrimp and grits. I made banana blueberry chocolate chip bread with Rose this afternoon while Grace went with Jeff and Pete (our cat) to the vet. It was great to just spend the day focused on the family and our everyday mundane tasks. It was a great way to celebrate this milestone.
I'm preparing to moderate an awareness event for a ministry called "Hangin' on Faith" (wwww.hanginonfaith.com) on Friday night and I've keep coming back to this poem as I consider my remarks. Indeed, God heals ...
God Heals -- Author Unknown
Remember when you heard the words -- and your mind went blank -- you were in another world.
God heals.
Remember in your darkest hours -- when all that surrounds you is pain and sorrow
God heals.
Remember friends' prayers - your family's encouragement = glimmers of hope from everyday angels
God heals.
Quite ... you can hear Him now always there -- yet never close
God heals.
It's just another day -- yet everything has changed -- and you hear yourself say
God heals.
Birds are singing -- the sky is a beautiful blue - flowers are blooming ...
God heals.
Truths that you knew as a child -- awakened again with new understanding
God heals.
Remember when others can't - that life is a gift - each day to treasure.
God heals.
Amen! Indeed, I have felt that healing presence throughout the year.
Here's to many more years!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Close to the year anniversary
I spent most of Monday afternoon with Dr. Graham, my onocologist. It was a regularly scheduled meeting to review my test results and hopefully declare me "NED" No Evidence of Disease. Unfortunately, we didn't have all the tests done yet (nurses screwed up the diagnostics being ordered) so I go in on Monday for the chest scans, mammograms, etc. and then I'll have a few days before he calls me to declare me NED.
He did start me on hormone treatments (for the next five years) ... which is great timing. They are running Duke Childrens Hospital fund raising on the radio right now. I'm crying in my car constantly as I hear these poor families talk about what cancer has done to their children. I could give away everything I own listening to these gut wrenching stories.
Today I went to have my port removed. It was implanted in my chest last March. The procedure itself only took a half hour and I was awake. (Although whatever they gave me for my nerves kicked in and I slept until nearly four today ... I made Jeff stop for a sausage biscuit on the way home. I kept falling asleep eating it and it kept falling back into my lap as he drove me home. I was a mess.) We started our appointment fighting with insurance. We switched insurance companies in Dec. and these doctors didn't take my new one and we had to call and get a special waiver to make sure that our insurance will pay for 80% of it. In the end they agreed to it but it was so distracting and nerve-wracking as three nurses stood waiting to start the procedure until we could get our insurance figured out. Makes me really worried about what the future of health care will be. I could have opted to keep the port but I would have to be on a daily blood thinner. Ridiculous. Anyway, I'm awake now and in minmal pain.
The doc did approve my ski trip for the weekend although he did warn against carrying and lifting the girls. I agreed. So, we're heading to Ski Beech with two other families from our church this weekend. I've been looking forward to this for weeks and probably should go pack while the girls are at swimming practice.
Hope all you that are snowed in aren't going crazy!
He did start me on hormone treatments (for the next five years) ... which is great timing. They are running Duke Childrens Hospital fund raising on the radio right now. I'm crying in my car constantly as I hear these poor families talk about what cancer has done to their children. I could give away everything I own listening to these gut wrenching stories.
Today I went to have my port removed. It was implanted in my chest last March. The procedure itself only took a half hour and I was awake. (Although whatever they gave me for my nerves kicked in and I slept until nearly four today ... I made Jeff stop for a sausage biscuit on the way home. I kept falling asleep eating it and it kept falling back into my lap as he drove me home. I was a mess.) We started our appointment fighting with insurance. We switched insurance companies in Dec. and these doctors didn't take my new one and we had to call and get a special waiver to make sure that our insurance will pay for 80% of it. In the end they agreed to it but it was so distracting and nerve-wracking as three nurses stood waiting to start the procedure until we could get our insurance figured out. Makes me really worried about what the future of health care will be. I could have opted to keep the port but I would have to be on a daily blood thinner. Ridiculous. Anyway, I'm awake now and in minmal pain.
The doc did approve my ski trip for the weekend although he did warn against carrying and lifting the girls. I agreed. So, we're heading to Ski Beech with two other families from our church this weekend. I've been looking forward to this for weeks and probably should go pack while the girls are at swimming practice.
Hope all you that are snowed in aren't going crazy!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Fire on the Hill
We spent the weekend taking our clothes off and on ... nothing kinky mind you. Mittens. Scarves. Hats. Socks. Sweaters. If you like hard work, it was really wonderful. It was the fourth weekend in a row where we've just hung out at home all weekend. I spent a chunk of the weekend studying up on soybeans and never straying far from the fire.
And, when we did leave the house: we left it fast. Unlike most Southerners, we own five sleds. And, we've used them all. In fact, right now Jeff is sledding/walking the mile loop through the neighborhood on the runner sled. It's 9:00. At night. But the sledding is so invigorating and he won't get this opportunity tomorrow since I'm flying out of town and the girls are home from school. (Update: he just came back and reports it was the ride of his life and his longest run was at least a quarter mile long on the hills -- thank God he didn't meet a car.)
I spent much of the weekend in the kitchen, I tried to mimic the outstanding homemade yeast rolls and cinnamon buns that my mother made us as kids. My dinner rolls looked like small rocks but they had the yeast flavor I was craving. The cinnamon rolls this morning were pretty tasty so I think I redeemed myself.
It's funny ... between studying soybeans (my dad is a soybean farmer in Indiana) and thinking about all the great snow days we had with my mom ... I'm almost a little homesick.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
See Mom Be Positive
The girls are learning to read. It's both beautiful and frustrating to watch. It is often hard not to fill in their pauses while they think. It's kind of sad too because reading is one of the few times I snuggle with the girls ... and soon they won't need me. Grace is grasping reading quickly and it comes relatively easy for her. Last night as Grace read me Dr. Seuss's Hop on Pop as a bed time story, Rose hid under her bed pouting. So tonight we pulled out a vintage "Dick and Jane" book and Rose quickly read the first two chapters. I think it helped boost her confidence. I want them both to love reading, it just opens the mind to so many possibilities and will make life so much easier if they enjoy it.
We had a great sermon at Asbury today. Proverbs 18:21 was the foundation ... "The tongue has the power of life and death,and those who love it will eat its fruit." As you can imagine, the focus was on positive words and how important it is to have a positive and kind attitude. The pastor had dozens of examples from complaining about the weather to the price of gas to what we're eating. It really hit me that my perspective lately has been quite sour and I'm probably taking it out on those that I love most. A positive attitude is something I have to constantly work on. Ironically, last year when I had so much to be bitter about ... I was amazingly upbeat. Why is that? Why is it so difficult to be grateful for the everyday things? I am so blessed in so many ways with friends, with family and even with work. It had never occurred to me to pray for a positive outlook before today. I always prayed for positive results ... maybe I need a new approach.
Tomorrow Rebecca and I are taking the girls to the women's UNC/NC State College Basketball game. I can't wait. Rebecca scored these tickets through a lottery at work and was kind enough to invite us. I want the girls to experience lots of different things so I'm quite thrilled for this opportunity. I'm cheering for NC State.
Today is the one year anniversary of the death of their Coach, Kay Yow. I didn't know her although I was genuinely sad last year to hear she passed. All the media and locals say she was a great coach and a great woman. She was diagnosed with cancer in 1987 and fought it for many years. Last year I would have said we had nothing in common but a year later, I have spent many hours with her oncologist, Dr. Graham. He's mentioned her determination and spirit several times. She was only 67 when she passed away ... a year ago today. Locally she did a lot to raise the awareness of breast cancer and was a great role model of how to handle it. So for the game, I can't decide if I should wear my survivor shirt or my NC State sweatshirt. Regardless, I'm excited to go to the game. Go Pack.
Have a great week!
We had a great sermon at Asbury today. Proverbs 18:21 was the foundation ... "The tongue has the power of life and death,and those who love it will eat its fruit." As you can imagine, the focus was on positive words and how important it is to have a positive and kind attitude. The pastor had dozens of examples from complaining about the weather to the price of gas to what we're eating. It really hit me that my perspective lately has been quite sour and I'm probably taking it out on those that I love most. A positive attitude is something I have to constantly work on. Ironically, last year when I had so much to be bitter about ... I was amazingly upbeat. Why is that? Why is it so difficult to be grateful for the everyday things? I am so blessed in so many ways with friends, with family and even with work. It had never occurred to me to pray for a positive outlook before today. I always prayed for positive results ... maybe I need a new approach.
Tomorrow Rebecca and I are taking the girls to the women's UNC/NC State College Basketball game. I can't wait. Rebecca scored these tickets through a lottery at work and was kind enough to invite us. I want the girls to experience lots of different things so I'm quite thrilled for this opportunity. I'm cheering for NC State.
Today is the one year anniversary of the death of their Coach, Kay Yow. I didn't know her although I was genuinely sad last year to hear she passed. All the media and locals say she was a great coach and a great woman. She was diagnosed with cancer in 1987 and fought it for many years. Last year I would have said we had nothing in common but a year later, I have spent many hours with her oncologist, Dr. Graham. He's mentioned her determination and spirit several times. She was only 67 when she passed away ... a year ago today. Locally she did a lot to raise the awareness of breast cancer and was a great role model of how to handle it. So for the game, I can't decide if I should wear my survivor shirt or my NC State sweatshirt. Regardless, I'm excited to go to the game. Go Pack.
Have a great week!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
2010 ... A New Decade and A New Perspective on Life
It's been nearly a month since I updated my blog. It's been on my list of "to do's" right under send out Christmas cards and send my much overdue thank you notes. Admittedly, I've been trying not to spend every night online.
We had a great holiday with about a week prior to Christmas spent here at home enjoying time with our family and friends. The girls and I enjoyed the Nutcracker one afternoon, I went to the Picasso exhibit one day and shopping with a friend one afternoon. Rebecca and I were able to have our annual "Cookie Day" and this year we had Mom with us which was extra special. We also did a Christmas Eve Jingle Bell run with 30 runners or so from the Finley YMCA. And, the day after Christmas we drove to northern Indiana which allowed us to visit with the Camdens and enjoy frigid days loaded with sledding and much card playing. The holdiays were a great ending to a very long year. I have to admit that cancer has made me really priortize people and family and it was great to have time to enjoy my family this year. I try not to be emotional but it was extra special.
Several of you have asked how I'm doing and what's going on. The short answer is that overall I feel great. I joke that I feel older. My body certainly isn't recovering like it used to. I don't know if it is the effects of another year or lingering effects of chemo. My shoulder is probably the most annoying issue. The radiation wreaked havoc on the muscle and I'm working hard to get it stretched out and regain my strength in my arms. My thermostat is also off ... one minute I can be comfortable and the next I'm sweating bullets. It's really annoying but I think I'll manage through it for the next few years as they shut my estrogen down. I go back to my oncologist, Dr. Graham, in early February and also get my port removed in mid-Feb. I'm a little anxious to get both of those appointments behind me.
I'm back at work full time and finally starting to settle into a routine. I took on new responsibiities for agribusiness development last year and I'm finally getting to really dive into it. Last year I never felt like I could make a huge impact and it's rewarding to immerse myself back into agribusiness. The girls are back in school and also taking swimming lessons twice a week. We've been doing a few crafts every weekend and that's been a blast! Jeff is managing the household and trying to keep us all moving in the same direction ... and in his free time, he is catching a few basketball games. We're also training for a half marathon so we're talking tennis shoes and running routes most nights.
That's the update from Raleigh. More later, maybe even a few pictures. Go Boilers!
Happy New Year!
We had a great holiday with about a week prior to Christmas spent here at home enjoying time with our family and friends. The girls and I enjoyed the Nutcracker one afternoon, I went to the Picasso exhibit one day and shopping with a friend one afternoon. Rebecca and I were able to have our annual "Cookie Day" and this year we had Mom with us which was extra special. We also did a Christmas Eve Jingle Bell run with 30 runners or so from the Finley YMCA. And, the day after Christmas we drove to northern Indiana which allowed us to visit with the Camdens and enjoy frigid days loaded with sledding and much card playing. The holdiays were a great ending to a very long year. I have to admit that cancer has made me really priortize people and family and it was great to have time to enjoy my family this year. I try not to be emotional but it was extra special.
Several of you have asked how I'm doing and what's going on. The short answer is that overall I feel great. I joke that I feel older. My body certainly isn't recovering like it used to. I don't know if it is the effects of another year or lingering effects of chemo. My shoulder is probably the most annoying issue. The radiation wreaked havoc on the muscle and I'm working hard to get it stretched out and regain my strength in my arms. My thermostat is also off ... one minute I can be comfortable and the next I'm sweating bullets. It's really annoying but I think I'll manage through it for the next few years as they shut my estrogen down. I go back to my oncologist, Dr. Graham, in early February and also get my port removed in mid-Feb. I'm a little anxious to get both of those appointments behind me.
I'm back at work full time and finally starting to settle into a routine. I took on new responsibiities for agribusiness development last year and I'm finally getting to really dive into it. Last year I never felt like I could make a huge impact and it's rewarding to immerse myself back into agribusiness. The girls are back in school and also taking swimming lessons twice a week. We've been doing a few crafts every weekend and that's been a blast! Jeff is managing the household and trying to keep us all moving in the same direction ... and in his free time, he is catching a few basketball games. We're also training for a half marathon so we're talking tennis shoes and running routes most nights.
That's the update from Raleigh. More later, maybe even a few pictures. Go Boilers!
Happy New Year!
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