Crazy Good Fun ... Followed by Extreme Quiet (it's long)

A year ago, I would call this a race report. As runners from the Y, many of us recap our runs and send out reports of the weather, course, nutrition, etc. So, here is my race report from the Race for the Cure. Yesterday was wonderful. The Race for the Cure was overwhelming in a word. I had lots of fans there ... maybe 40-50 that I saw. My parents flew in from Indiana, my brother from Norfolk, Jeff's family surprised us and drove in on Fri. night from northern Indiana, friends I haven't seen in months, numerous colleagues, friends from Asbury UMC, quilters, runners from the Y ... it was a diverse crowd that I'm thrilled to call my support group. Normally I run this race so it was an insult to see the times I was posting as I walked. I was surprised by how thrilled I was to stop in the shade every so often to wait for one of our girls or play in a sprinkler. I was really disappointed I wasn't able to keep up with family and friends ... but by mile 2 finishing became all that mattered. And, I've heard that there were new friendships struck as my friends and family made new acquaintances.

One of my running pals, Courtney, came walking the course back towards me at about 2.5 miles and I was thrilled to see her. She told me everyone was waiting at the corner and that really moved me. I'm crying just thinking about everyone in Ann's Fans shirts standing there in the sweltering sun waiting for me to catch up. My mom, my sister, my aunts, some of my coworkers ... they waited for me. That really touched me. I wish I had something more profound to say ... but it really tugged at my heart. I have seldom felt such love from so many people. As we finished the race together ... a large group of us ... there was another crowd of Ann's Fans waiting at the finishing line and cheering loudly as they called my name as a "survivor." I wiped away more tears.

Throughout the day several strangers congratulated me on being a survivor and other survivors gave me words of encouragement. It was kind of awkward but comforting -- all at the same time. I participated in the survivors parade. That was odd ... as I looked around ... I didn't want to be there. I'm not sure I'll do it again. As I stood there listening to the speakers, I wished I could take off sprinting the greenway back toward the art museum, its one of my favorite runs. I wanted the ground to swallow me. I wanted to be home. Don't misunderstand: I want to be a survivor ... but I don't want cancer to define me. I don't want to always be thought of as a cancer patient/survivor. I'm sure the other ladies in pink survivor shirts don't want it to define them either ... the whole thing just seemed awkward so I slipped out of the crowd and walked back to my group where I really wanted to collapse in Jeff's arms in the shade and have a good cry. Instead, we walked to the car.

The Ann's Fans team came away with hardware! We were the largest team under the "Family and Friends" category. And, our clever rock-themed t-shirts that were designed by a local creative agency was recognized as "Most Creative" t-shirt. Thanks to many of you who read this for coming out and supporting our team or making a donation. I couldn't be more proud but I'm not sure I want to do it every year.

Afterwards, we had an awesome post pool party. I thought I was going to lose my lunch as Rose jumped off the high dive. That scared me as a mother. I was proud and concerned. She looked so small suspended up there in air. She barely hesitated. I used to love the high dive and I could understand her enthusiasm. I tried it once yesterday ... got a bloody nose. Grace was busy racing her aunts/uncles in relay contests. She stuck to the slide and talking smack about her swimming stroke.

After all the activity the last few days, the family in town, the heat, the physical demands ... I have done nothing today. It has truly been a day of rest. Jeff spent the day fishing off the coast (although I've heard I shouldn't count on a fish dinner). The girls have gone to my aunt's house for a few days and I have spent the entire Sunday watching television, reading, napping and a little quilting.

As I sign off, I'll post this ... Bernadene (Jeff's sister) recently sent me a card that had this very appropriate verse ... "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." John 14:18. (Ironically, she then came to the very race she was sending me a card wishing me luck at.) Each of you has brought me comfort during this fight and I thank you for that. It may sound corny, but God must have been there walking with us yesterday. How else could someone feel such reassuring love?


Have a great week.