Flat on My Back

It's not always easy to decide when to call the doctor. I held out this weekend and I think I'm over the worst of it now on Sunday afternoon. On Friday, I had a Zometa infusion ... a drug that takes the calcium from my blood and pulls it into my bones. From all the drugs that I've taken and am about to take, I'm at high risk for osteopeina (a precursor to osteoporosis) and this should help guard against that as well as the cancer metastasizing in my bones. I'm supposed to do these treatments for three years every six months, I think. That will be too often.

I had the infusion first thing Friday morning and I was fine at work on Friday but by 10:00 that night my back was cramping and my feet were doing all sorts of kinky things with cramps. I took Tums, potassium, Ambien and finally pain killers left over from my surgery a few weeks back. Saturday I was on pain killers all day and night. I felt like my spine was concrete that was flaking into little bits and pieces. I had tears of pain and I don't often feel that way. I mentioned the Emergency Room to Jeff.

I did go out for a few hours to Yates Mill Pond, they had a big celebration and I wanted to do something fun with the girls this weekend. I thought I was going to pass out from pain the entire time I was there and I'm sure I looked stoned. We were looking for my friend Linda who makes a lot of their period costumes but unfortunately we missed her this weekend. We'll have to go back as I couldn't tolerate the mill tour and we left early. That's all I remember about Sat. Well, and playing Sudoku with Rose late in the night when she couldn't sleep and I was between pain killers.

The girls and Jeff are off at a birthday party that I really wanted to go to. Grace has made a friend at school and thinks the world of her. I wanted to meet her as Grace doesn't make friends easy. It was a tough decision to take Rose along as well. (The parents were kind enough to invite her as well when we called to RSVP.) Grace didn't really want Rose to go since it's sometimes hard to be visible when Rose is around. It just didn't seem fair to Rose to make her sit here on the couch with me all day on a beautiful afternoon. So, we decided she could go even if Grace didn't really want her there and we know they need their own friends. Fortunately Jeff called earlier and reported it was going well and Grace and friend were seen holding hands and picking pumpkins. Apparently there were pony rides as well.

I'm still fighting like a girl ... if you haven't seen this video or heard the song ... Fight Like a Girl ... it's worth a listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wwtl_vKWdVs

So, please pray for relief from the suffering in my back and hips. I keep telling myself God has this plan and I'll be stronger for it but it's been really difficult this week as I see so much of the world progressing all around me and I so often feel like I'm just on the fringes of my own life. When I jump back in sometimes it feels like being on a merry-go-round and I can't make it to the middle where I'd be safer. Although I guess you could argue in the middle of the merry-go-round you really have no control ... and isn't that the truth.

God Bless,
Ann