Tomorrow Turns to Yesterday

Jeff and I met with the oncologist on Thurs. and overall it was great. We all enjoyed our meeting and I can't say that very often. We laid out my next steps including hurdles and treatments over the next year. It involves a fair amount of monitoring, a couple shots for bone density, shots and pills to put me into menopause (think mood swings and hot flashes) and 33 radiation treatments that I'll be starting as soon as possible. I'll go daily for about 6.5 weeks and hope to be done by Thanksgiving. He was very pleased with my pathological response to the chemotherapy and is being presenting my case on the "Friday morning show." Before you start looking for it on your local cable, it's not the good kind of ABC/CBS/NBC morning shows ... but the gathering of 30 local doctors at Rex hospital who review various cancer cases and weigh in on treatment options, etc. My case was first presented in Feb. of this year and they recommended a mastectomy. But, due to my great response to chemo (which was only 50/50 due to me being estrogen receptor positive) ... I was able to get the lumpectomy last week. We talked a lot about my lymph node cancer cells as well but he was elated with the results and described it as finding flakes of cancer cells and described them as very tiny like salt and pepper. For the first time in MONTHS, we left feeling pretty good about everything.

I'm still really nervous about radiation. I HATED the doctor earlier this year but she's good and really has a pleasant bedside manner. She just scares me with her statistics of recurrence and death. I guess she plays a valid role and I'll be meeting with her next week. I can't start radiation until I can get my arm over my head (due to the surgery last week where they cut through the muscles in my armpit area). I've been working out ... trying to stretch and it hurts but I can get it about shoulder height but I can't sustain it yet.

But here's what is really on my mind, I've been listening to a Michael W. Smith song titled "How to Say Good-bye" and my favorite lyric includes the words "how quickly tomorrow can turn to yesterday." It's so easy to say we'll do things tomorrow until suddenly you run out of time. Like my cousin's fiancee. He was diagnosed with cancer last Nov. and I believe he had three different kinds. They were soft tissue (kidney, liver, esophagus, etc.) and that's a lot more serious than most breast cancer. He lives nearby. I kept meaning to go see him and to tell him how much I liked that spark in his eye and his smile -- I'm running out of time. I haven't spoken to him since Christmas when they called on my birthday and I spoke with him that night ... he was so jovial and kind that night. I cried when I hung up the phone because I knew of his diagnosis then and he is so young. I was mad that something so bad was happening to a really good guy. Anyway, my approach of "I'll do it tomorrow" is disappearing in the next few days. I've prayed for him over the course of the year but I wish I had gone to see him ... I regret that. Cancer sucks. Please if you're praying tonight, lift up Kenny and his family in your prayers.

So, that's the update from here. Please again, pray for Kenny. Pray for peace, comfort and God's Grace for all of his support crew. Thanks and God Bless.