It's picture day for me ... it sounds so much more glamorous than saying I'm going to have my brain MRI, chest CT, abdomen CT and pelvis CT after drinking some fantastic concoction of radioactive dye. Then I'm doing a quick lunch with my driver, Nancy. And by 1:00 we'll head out for a fine needle aspiration of what I've come to visualize as a marble stuck in my armpit -- others refer to it as my growing lymph node. I feel like my right arm won't lie flat by my side anymore ... it's kind of uncomfortable with the swelling in my breast and my armpit.
My phone was a flurry of activity this morning with doctors, nurses and assistants calling to schedule all these tests. It makes me really nervous all of the sudden, like it's a race against the clock.
More people are finding out at work and I'm ready to just walk through the halls yelling it. It's difficult to say you're going to the doctor three days AGAIN this week without people raising an eyebrow. I just wish I had a better excuse to be missing all this work. The folks who do know have been great. I can't complain. It's just a stressful time.
It looks like I'll start chemo on Friday now and go every other week. I need to start shopping for a wig and an Easter bonnet.
So, here's my deep breath for the day. I had to go to work this morning despite our snowfall ... Jeff walked me down the hill to where he'd warmed the truck and it was beautiful. Everything was white and silent. The sky was this chalky gray color that defines smoky gray. It smelled fresh and clean, the trees have redbuds on them so there was snow covering this color and it was unbelievably still. We stood there admiring it. God creates such beautiful scenes for us and seldom do we appreciate what we have. And, I have to admit ... I wondered quietly ... will this be my last snowfall. I don't think it will be ... but I still wonder it sometimes.
This was on a card I received from an old friend today ...
"... It won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright!" 1 Corinthians 13:12
Here's to the brighter sun ...
Love,
Ann
I predict you'll live to see many snows and even some--well probably a lot with Jeff and the girls--in your hair.
ReplyDeleteGood luck today, praying for you,
love, dad
We have many more snowfalls to see and the girls will coerce you into many more snowmen over the years to come. You've never been a quitter, and there's no starting now. You are a fighter - you always have been... you taught Charlie and I both to fight, how to be tough, and in many ways how to love all at the same time. We love you deeply, and are praying for you constantly. Remember the message... "HOPE - Believing that something good can come from something bad". My big sister taught me that just the other day :). It'll happen - it's just going to take some time.
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